maybe i look okay..but then.? only Allah knows the truth.. :')
i'm tired with this..people, they make promises with me..they give me hope..last2, janji entah kemana..hope terbiar mcm tu je..pastu bila dah susah, bila dah ada masalah, bila takde org with them, baru nak cari aku..baru nak terasak2 ngan aku..ingat aku ni patung barbie doll ke ape, nak happy kan diorang time diorang perlu je..bila tak perlu, dibiar berhabuk mcm tu je..kalau muka aku mcm barbie doll cantik kiut miut alololo sweet comel takpe la jugak..ni aku dilayan mcm patung..serious aku tired..and now i'm ready to hurt people back..no matter who..no matter what..once u hurt me, i will hurt u back, even lagi teruk aku akan buat..malas nak jadi baik.malas nak jadi tunggul..i have my own right..get it.? :)
anyway, last 2 week, dah jumpa doktor..bagi ubat..and ubat dah abesss...huk3..bekalan utk 2 mggu sahaja..and doktor dah inject something into me, i don't know what it is, but it change my hormone a bit.. =.=" and reduce my pain, a bit jugak..pastu 2 3 hari later, sakit balik..ommmooo..! benci.. =.=" this week, such a mess..sometimes i cry too much smpai bengkak gila baby mata..and Selasa, aku dudok sorang2 kat restaurant Rasa-Rasa, which is sebelah office mak..sementara tggu mak balik kerja, aku dok situ and minum..actually, kena tinggal sorang2 kat situ..and i cried..peduli ape org tengok..tp serious, hati sakit..bila dah plan cantik2 ngan sorang kawan ni, last2 boyfriend dia call suruh jumpa dia time tu gak..and mood aku hilang sbb time tu kteorg mmg tgh having fun, talking2 and babbling..alih2 boy dia buat perangai..*%@&#.! =.=" then aku ditinggal sorang2 kat restaurant not far from mom's office..tunggu mak balik keje punya lah lama..pheww..sakit atii..bukan sakit ati kat my friend, tp sakit ati kat dia punya boy..ptuih..then next day, same thing..aku punya sekang mata, dah la tak cukup tido..alih2 tak jadi jumpa gak..aku marah gila..marah smpai menangis..menangis bukan bermaksud sedih, tp sbb terlalu marah..aku baling handphone sony aku, smpai terburai and bateri tak jumpa2 maybe sbb terlalu kuat baling..huk3..2 hari baru jumpa balik bateri.. =.=" then i'm crying while driving and, someone, a guy, kat keta sebelah time berenti kat traffic light, tengok aku semacam..maybe he's thinking, why i'm crying while driving..marah..sangat2 marah..aku ditinggal sorang2..aku tak tahu nak harap kat siapa lagi dah..then, on the same day time aku marah and frust and rasa stress sangat2, Mint sent me a message..she tell about something, and i try and try and try to letak my problems ketepi and try to be a good listener to her, eventough aku sendiri serabut..i know she needs someone to talk to, and i try my best to be her someone.. because i love my best friend, so much..without them, i am nothing..maybe aku tak dpt nak tolong, but at least, i can lend my ears utk diorang luah kan masalah..maybe aku tak dpt nak bagi the best advice for them, but at least, diorang akan feel relieved lepas luahkan masalah diorang..maybe i can't be the best, but at least, i am trying my best..maybe kadang2 akan ada salah faham and dingin sekejap, but sooner or later, we will hang out together lagi because to be honest, tak boleh nak dingin lama2..cause they already become part of my life, and my life means nothing without them.. :')
okay..letih dah emo2.. =.=" anyway, nak share what is my passion, selain daripada Big Bang, 2NE1 and Dae Sung.. :) for people BB means BlackBerry, but for me BB means Big Bang (ilovethemsomuch.!) or Broadband Bangang (ihatethissomuch.! =.=").. oh well, hari tu tengok MTV EMA 2001 Belfast kat MTV channel..salah satu event yg WAJIB aku tengok (bukan live okayy)..it is because Big Bang is one of the nominee of Best World Wide Act..perghh...tengok la name utk kategori tu..macam kelas kauu mariaa je kan..hahaa..and Big Bang represent Asia Pacific, so the whole country of Asia berharap dan berharap diorang akan ngapp award tu, terutamanya aku, yg excited gila2 sbb Dae Sung is back after a few month.! ngaaa... :D dia involved dengan accident, bulan June kalau tak silap..then berehat for a few month..time Big Bang buat show utk Korean Music Wave 2011 kat KL haritu pun DaeSung takde..nasib baek dia takde..so tak la aku meroyan sangat kan nak pegi tengok..heeee...okay, back to the track..pasal that event..good news.! Big Bang got the award..yebbbbaaaa..!! mengalahkan Britney Spears tauu..chukaeyo, Big Bang.! (means "congratulations, Big Bang.!) :DD
good to see you back Dae Sung..i miss you.! do you miss me too.? *hahahaha*..perasan woh.! =.=" congrats to them again.! wish them best of luck..and oh, lupa, happy 5th anniversary to Big Bang.! please stay stick together, forever.. :)
done with passion with Korean things.. wish i addict the most..teeeheeee.. :)
last Thursday, ade interview..kat Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri (LHDN)..harap2 dpt keja kat situ, keja pembantu tadbir sambilan..sementara tunggu nak masuk degree..bosan dok umah cuti panjang, so nak keja..harap2 dpt lah keja tu..huk3.. :)
driving...i love driving, so much.! especially time stress.. :) my target, ade kereta sendiri sebelum mencecah umur 25..nak kereta Satria-Neo..i love it so much.! i love the shape, the design, the appearances..misi pertama bila dah ada kereta sendiri, nak tukar speaker and adjust sound system dlm kereta..nak bagi bunyi ''setap setup setap setup'' cket..haha..so bila main lagu2 club, dance or techno, the sound akan jadi awesome jyeahhh.! :D kereta sekarang pun aku slalu buat mcm tu, bukak kuat2..tp tak leh kuat sgt kang rosak speaker..coz tu speaker biase2 je..ngee..kang marah plak mak kan..hahaha..dah adjust sound system, nak kasi lowert plak..tp tak nak la lowert sgt kang kalo ramai2 dok lam kereta, tak bergerak plak kan..hahaha..then nak tukar rim..perghh..tinted kena gelap cket..and tambah mana2 accessories yg berkenaan..and dah siap modify, boleh bwk racing gak.. :D i love driving fast..jgn bagitau mak, shhhh...actually, dr rumah nak pegi office mak, ambik masa around setengah jam..tp aku drive, 15 minit je leh sampai..bahahha...tp bila ade mak kat sebelah, driving kena lah sopan santun cket..cket je lah..tp most of the time, mak mmg tak berani kalo aku drive and dia dok sebelah..dia takut, dia ckp aku drive dah mcm org KL drive..ngeee... sorry mak.. :D i love sports car..i love racing..i love everything about car and their accessories..i am seriously loved it.! and aku harap one day nnti, aku akan dpt kereta yg aku idamkan.. :D
anyway, aku rase mcm ade terlupa something..something yg aku tak pernah lupa..and till now, i don't know what it is..urghh..! benci bila try nak ingat tp tak dpt..waaaa...! =.="
whatever it is, nak wish Happy 46th Birthday to my Mom.! which is on 3rd November. :D i love you so much, Mom.! wish you all the best, may Allah bless you and have a great year ahead.! :))
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| she's 46 but still gorgeous.! :D lots of love to her.! |
-the end-
toddles.!
